My Lost Valentine
by EnsorcelledFerret
Summary: The Day of Lovers fastly approaching, Kurama is informed of a tragic 'accident'.
1. 01 The Kurama POV

Disclaimers:  
  
Insert them all here.  
  
My Lost Valentine  
  
PiperZ  
  
I could still see his face, expressionless, as it always was, betraying nothing to those who would look. I can still envision his stance, bland, his hands clasped to the small of his back, holding firm as he watched with what appeared to be total disinterest, but.. his eyes. Oh his eyes betrayed everything. I remembered them most vividly, hiding behind those tattered bangs of raven, just beneath the cloth that covered the jagan he bore. Ruby eyes that were not the placid appearance of the rest of his small form, but a fiery set of twin orbs that saw everything, yet nothing at all. They had a depth about them that swam almost to his soul, yet they were so shallow....  
  
I hugged close the small white and black panda I had gotten for him, my own eyes closed tightly as I rocked to and fro, poised on the windowsill. I knew he would not be coming tonight, nor any night afterward. Never again would his small form grace my bedroom as it had so many times before, never to peek in on me when he thought I was sleeping. I could wait up all I liked, hoping he would return to me, but it would all be so futile.  
  
I opened my eyes slightly, staring at the wide, red ribbon that looped the little panda's neck. I thought back to the origin of the bear, and what followed shortly after the day I had gotten it....  
  
************* A Week Ago:  
  
"Hiei, look at this!" I looped a hand around his small wrist, and pulled him, rather reluctantly, after me as I waded through the crowd towards a shelf stacked with rows of Valentines gifts. "I know you don't really like some of these chocolates, but.." I said as I released his hand, reaching for one of the heart-shaped candy boxes. I paused as I heard him clear his throat, and turned to face him, the little box of love in my hands.  
  
Hiei was frowning up at me, his gaze practically glaring. My expression fell, and I lowered the box slowly. I knew what he wanted, but...  
  
He must have noted my fall of excitement, and he reached a hand out to me, taking me by the sleeve. Stepping close, he leaned upward, so he could whisper words only I could hear, though I swore by the look the clerk gave us, she had heard as well. "Shut up, Fox, and follow me..."  
  
I didn't really get a chance to protest before Hiei began to pull me away from the display unit, past the rows of flowers and balloons, past the little snack shop, and past the racks of clothes... I saw where he was leading me, and my eyes widened slightly. It took a moment for me to realize that I was still holding onto the box of chocolates, and the edges were bent where I was gripping them so hard. I loosened my grip a bit.  
  
I watched Hiei turn his eyes this way and that as we approached the dressing rooms, and seeing no clerk in sight, he headed for a free unit, and pushed me roughly inside. I grunt as my shoulder hit the far wall of the small unit, and began to turn around as Hiei slipped inside, locking the door behind us. The box of chocolates was crushed between me and the wall, though, when the little fire demon once more pushed against me roughly.  
  
This wasn't a new event, to say the least. Every time we went out, it seemed, Hiei was becoming more and more aggressive with the relationship, not that I minded in the least. It was better than trying for four hours to coax him into just KISSING me, and perhaps another hour to TOUCH me. This was much, MUCH better. I closed my eyes, and bit my lip to stifle a moan as I felt one of his palms press into my back, holding me firmly in place, the other reaching for my waistline.  
  
"Hiei," I whispered in a gruff whisper, trying to be as quiet as I could. ".. let's not get thrown out of THIS store as well, alright...?"  
  
My plead might have been heard, but it definitely wasn't heeded. Twenty minutes later, we sat on the curb outside of the very store we had moments before been booted out of. I had been forced to buy the chocolates none-the- less, because I had practically crushed the entire box in the small dressing unit, and I held the disfigured box in my hands.  
  
"Well, Fox.. "  
  
I looked up slowly, a faint smile on my face as my eyes settled upon the one I called lover. "That's the fifth store, Hiei... please. I want to have SOMEWHERE left to shop in the future."  
  
Hiei's eyes lit up, and he laughed softly. Was I dreaming, did Hiei actually LAUGH? My smile softened, and I pushed myself to my feet. Pausing only a second, I held the crunched box out to him after he too had rose to his feet. Hiei snorted, and pushed it back to me.  
  
"Hell no, Fox. You crushed them, you eat them."  
  
--  
  
We left shortly after, though didn't return to my place until later that night; I, through the front door, and Hiei, through my window. We lay together for hours afterwards, merely holding each other. I was content in this, and sighed softly into the darkness. I was asleep by the time Hiei left that night, and when I finally did awake, dawn had long been broke.  
  
As per normal, I went about my morning routines of making the bed, getting a shower, getting dressed, and other such the like, but it wasn't until I went to close the window that my routine was broken. There was a letter from Hiei.. why hadn't I noticed it when I got up?  
  
I slowly picked it up, my eyes falling over the words, so childishly scrawled to the paper:  
  
Fox,  
  
I have a few things to do, and I won't be coming over for a while. Leave the window open for me.  
  
Hiei  
  
Not much of a letter, but puzzling for that simple fact. I held the little note in my hands and walked back over to the bed to sit. Hiei was predicable for flittering off without much notice, but this truly came as a shock. He KNEW I had planned a special night for us in a few days, one day before Valentines day, and yet he chose to leave? I didn't understand it at all.  
  
I left the note on my side table, and headed out for the day.  
  
----  
  
Since my choice of shops had dwindled greatly since becoming lovers with Hiei, I chose a shop on the far side of town. Even though Hiei had taken leave, that didn't mean that I should change my plans. After all, he might come back before the planned night. So, after wading through several crowds, each person trying to get the best items for themselves, I managed to spirit away two little presents for him, both of which he would probably hate anyway.  
  
A little panda with a wide, red ribbon looping its neck, with large brown eyes, and a red, crystal rose.  
  
Departing the far end of town, and depositing the gifts in my room, I managed to slip out once more for a long, aimless walk. For some reason, I felt restless, and disturbed, as if something was stirring within me that I couldn't place a name on. I hadn't been walking for too long, though, when my 'aimless' wanderings brought me practically to Yusuke's doorstep. Of course, I knew that I hadn't intentionally happened upon his place...  
  
None-the-less, I felt that I suddenly needed to talk to someone. After a knock, and a brief greeting with Atsuko, I wandered my way to Yusuke's room. Keiko was there, and I greeted her warmly as well before taking a seat, cross-legged, upon the floor.  
  
"What's up, Kurama?" Yusuke asked rather cheerfully.. unusually cheerfully... one hand propping up his head as he lay on the bed.  
  
I smiled warmly in reply, though I don't think it really reached my eyes, and Yusuke seemed to sense something was wrong, Keiko as well. She excused herself a few minutes later, muttering something about having to speak with Atsuko, and Yusuke sat up in the bed, his eyes intent on me.  
  
"Kurama, are you okay?"  
  
I shook my head slowly, and lowered my eyes to the ground. Of all the people, save for Hiei, I had felt closest to Yusuke. I had even shared a bed with him twice before, though it was only for sex, I bluntly kept telling myself this. I felt I could tell him anything, and since he already knew a great deal of what went on between Hiei, and myself I felt I could tell him this as well.  
  
"Hiei has left for a while, yet I feel something is wrong, Yusuke." No sense in beating around the bush, as they say. I kept my eyes lowered as I spoke. "He left a note saying he had things to do, and wouldn't be back for a while. I can't name it, but I have a feeling something is wrong." A pause broke my words, but I continued a moment later. "We had plans, you know..."  
  
Yusuke nodded. I didn't continue, and suddenly I was beginning to feel a little on the stupid side coming inside to talk to him. I could have just kept on walking...  
  
"He didn't say where he was going?"  
  
I shook my head, and lifted my eyes to him. Yusuke was always so helpful when I was having trouble coping with Hiei, though recently it seemed that I came to Yusuke less and less as Hiei and myself became more adjusted with each other. "No, I only found a letter from him."  
  
I proceeded to tell Yusuke all about the last few days with Hiei, the experience in the store in which we once more were booted out of. Neither of us could see anything that I may have done to drive Hiei away to do whatever he might be doing. Yusuke mentioned the fact of maybe he was getting me something for the planned night, but I discarded the idea, mentioning that Hiei had already, rather defensively, said he was getting me NOTHING. The only thing we could both agree upon was that perhaps he had conflicts in the Makai that needed tending to, but even that seemed shaky. There was very little that needed his attention anymore in the Makai...  
  
The rest of the conversation went slow, with a sense of tenseness that didn't quite befit the friendship between Yusuke and myself, and shortly after I let myself out. Lost in thought, I wandered back towards my house, and retreated to my room once more, to puzzle over the scribbled note.  
  
That night I was plagued with a restless sleep, and a sense of overbearing darkness brimming the edges of my dream-state. Too soon did those darkened trimmings seep into my mind, and bring me a truly frightening nightmare that left me stifling a scream, drenched in sweat, and trembling in the darkness as I awoke in the dead of night. My eyes quickly jerked towards the open window, and the curtain that swayed lightly in the breeze that filtered through into the room.  
  
Shaking, I stumbled out of the bed, and to the window. The wind felt cool, almost cold, against my dampened skin, and I sucked in a deep breath. As I stared out into the night, I began to push aside the dark, cruel sense that still clung to me from the nightmare I had managed to cut short. The faint trace of emptiness that remained in Hiei's eyes still etched itself into my mind, though, and I hung my head, closing my eyes.  
  
Death. Blood.. Hiei's blood.. smattered across the blade of a sword. A familiar sword..  
  
The thoughts weren't whole, and the dream was slowly fading from my mind. I only saw ruby eyes, empty in death, no longer alight with even the smallest spark of life. I shook my head slowly, and sunk down by the window, the curtain whipping softly around near my head. I fell asleep shortly afterwards  
  
---  
  
The next two days were painstakingly slow, and they passed by like a hazed dream. Nothing seemed real, and everyone seemed like a ghost. I felt cold all the time now, and at one point, I even felt as though I couldn't catch my breath. I returned home early on the fourth day since I had last seen Hiei, and stumbled blindly through the house. I felt physically ill, and after a brief worshipping session to the grand porcelain god, I managed to somehow find, and crawl into, my bed. The window, at this point, was still open, and I stared blankly towards it.  
  
I vaguely remember my mother coming in later that night, murmuring softly to me, and pressing a cool cloth to my head for a while before departing. Once more, later that night, she peeked in to ask me if I wanted some chicken broth, but I pretended I was asleep. She left me alone shortly after, and I rolled over to face the window again.  
  
Four days. Four days without Hiei, and I was practically a wreck. I had went longer without seeing him, of course, but simply knowing he wouldn't be randomly visiting until... until who knew when! ... it didn't sit well with me at all. And this terrible sense of hovering darkness that I couldn't help push away. I had managed to avoid the others, even Yusuke, the last day or two. I didn't want to talk to them, didn't want to share my hurts, my fears... especially my dreams, which had turned oddly violent.  
  
I felt as if I was suffocating, as if not knowing something about where Hiei had went was closing in around me, cutting off the air around me, bearing me down into a hole of darkness with no escape in sight. I shivered, and pulled the covers up over my head.  
  
---  
  
There was no concept of time, only a unnamed nothingness that bore me down into the darkness of my mind. I could hear the faint, muffled sound of voices, they sounded so distant, though I could sense a worry in their tone. If I would have had the strength to open my eyes, I might have, but the lids felt so heavy. In truth, I felt drugged out of my mind. I sucked in a slow, deep breath, and groaned.  
  
"Kurama?"  
  
It was Yusuke, he sounded so far away.... As much as I wanted to at that point, I still couldn't open my eyes. I lolled my head slightly, and I could feel my hair as it pulled away from my sweat-drenched forehead. Something was wrong... I couldn't breath... felt like I was smothering... I heard myself gasp.. there was a sharp, stabbing pain deep within my chest that I clutched for... then once again.. nothingness.  
  
******* The Present  
  
Tonight was the night after Valentines Day, a day which had come and gone without much eventfulness, and it was three days after the incident in my room, in which my mother had been talking with Yusuke in the front room when I had apparently began screaming in my sleep. I had had an extremely high fever, and she had passed it off as being delusional. I knew better.. something had been wrong, and it wasn't until it had been too late that I found out exactly what that "wrong" had been.  
  
Valentines morning, the morning after the special night I had had planned for Hiei and myself, had been a muted, grayish rise of the sun. Nothing seemed to focus for me as Yusuke bowed his head, his eyes closed tight. It had been his duty to deliver the message of Hiei's death, and as he held Hiei's broken katana in his hands, its blade broken in half, and its silvery glint stained a slight faded crimson, he struggled to hold back his own tears. I couldn't breath... I felt as though my world were caving in. My heart hurt, my soul hurt...  
  
I was on my knees, clutching my chest, my own eyes closed tightly. There were no details for me to grasp, nothing to reveal what had taken my Hiei from me, only death. The familiar blade in my dreams had been Hiei's, and the lifeless stare had been a warning. If I had been more attuned, or perhaps less ill, I might have reacted differently. How would I have found him, anyway, even if I had taken the warnings to heart?  
  
I never questioned Yusuke about what Koenma told him of Hiei's death, and I did not take the katana from the detective either. He had been friends with Hiei, and since he did not have near the amount of memories that I had, I allowed him the tangible reminants of the little fire demon instead.  
  
I looked down hard at the little bear I held in my arms. It's large brown eyes stared sullenly back up at me, almost questioning why I was crying as I held it. I don't think I could have answered the little thing even if I didn't feel that doing so would cost me a few marks of sanity. I felt saddened as I remember Yusuke, offering me the sword once more before he left. I quietly refused.  
  
I didn't need to keep the katana. I had my memories, and those were enough for me at the moment. So many, yet so few, of my little lost valentine. 


	2. 02 The Kurama POV

Note: This story is POV from Yusuke.  
  
--------------------  
  
I looked up, frowning slightly, shielding the lamp light from my eyes. I stared at the front door of Kurama's house, once more chiding myself for returning. Grunting softly, I turned towards the direction that would lead me home, sullenly walking along the deserted street. Thoughts of the last week rushed through my mind, and I struggled to force them away. With the thoughts came anger and frustration, and following them...  
  
Pausing in my steps, I turned, as if a voice had called to me. But I knew that was impossible. It was a voice I knew that would never be heard again. As I stood, however, my eyes caught sight of a familiar red head, perched upon the sill of a window, towards the back of the house. My breath caught a moment in my throat, and quickly, I headed once more for home, hands balled into fists within the pockets of my jeans.  
  
************  
  
A week ago:  
  
I sat, perched on the edge of my bed, head dipping now and then in automatic response to Keiko's words. I really wasn't paying too much attention, it was after all, about school. Besides, I had other things to worry about; like what I was going to eat for dinner.  
  
"Yusuke! You haven't heard a word I've said!" That harshness, and the fact that Keiko was practically in my face, snapped me back from thoughts of steaming.  
  
"Yes I have!" A bold-faced lie.. but she was a girl. Then again... she was also Keiko.  
  
"You brat! You have not!" Nearly glaring at me, Keiko sat back down in the chair across from my bed, arms folded across her chest, the skirt of her fuku showing a bit of her white panties beneath. I couldn't help myself, my gaze gravitated upon the flash of white, and the thought of what treasures it guarded. Grinning now, I was once more unaware of anything Keiko was saying... I was also unaware of the looks that I was receiving, or the fact that there was a rather large textbook gravitating towards my bug-eyed head. That is... until it landed its mark.  
  
"What the hell was that for?" was all I could manage, rubbing the slow growing lump that would be part of my visage for the next few days.  
  
"You know what that was for. Hmph!" She half turned, head tossed back, eyes shut, probably imagining all kinds of insults were I to say one more thing in my defense. I tilted my head, hand once more dropping to settle into my lap toying with a fold of my jeans momentarily. With a sigh, I shrugged, though she couldn't see it, before settling back onto the bed, propped upon my elbows.  
  
We sat like this, in silence, she to her thoughts, and I to mine. Today had been unusually irritating. Something just didn't feel right. Like a centipede with only fifty legs. But I hadn't heard from Botan, or Koenma for quite awhile. Maybe that was it. I was restless, I was agitated, I was listless... I was bored.  
  
Looking towards the window, I laid upon the already rumpled sheets of my bed, arms rising to fold beneath my head. With a sigh, I closed my eyes, feeling rather tired suddenly. Only a few moments was I able to lay still, before Keiko's voice broke the silence, soft and low.  
  
"Yusuke?" She didn't wait for a reply, "I was thinking. Valentine's Day is coming up.. "  
  
"...And?"  
  
"Well. I thought that you might want to take me out or something. You know. Spend the day together."  
  
I opened one eye to find her staring expectantly at my face, a hopeful expression hidden behind her gaze. Boy, at times like this, she sure could get on my nerves. Koenma hadn't contacted me in a few days, and who knows what could be happening at this very second outside of these walls, and all SHE wanted to do was talk about mushy Valentine's day.  
  
Before I could reply, I heard my mother's voice. Also another that I recognized, but couldn't place at the moment. Keiko's words had put me on edge slightly, and I was trying to keep the evidence off of my face. A moment later, Kurama was standing in the doorway. He nodded to me, and then said a few words of hello to Keiko, before crossing my room, and taking a seat on the floor.  
  
"What's up Kurama?" I asked quickly, much relieved for the interruption after all of Keiko's ramblings. I shifted my weight, laying on my side now, palm resting on my cheek as I gazed across to the red-head. He smiled back at me.. but it was not right. It was forced.. and it was noticeably so. I shifted my eyes from his face as Keiko rose and mentioned a sudden need to speak with my mother, before hurrying out of the room. Shifting yet again once the door was closed, I moved to the edge of the bed, leveling my eyes to Kurama's.  
  
"Kurama, are you okay?"  
  
He shook his head slowly as he lowered his eyes somewhere around my feet. I only blinked watching him like this. The last time we were alone in my room... Again I shifted my eyes. I didn't think that he had come to talk about those times. That was quite a while ago... before Hiei.  
  
"Hiei has left for a while, yet I feel something is wrong, Yusuke."  
  
I sigh intangibly. It was something about Hiei. In a way I was relieved... but I felt in that instant there was more to it. Kurama only troubled me with these things when he could not find a solution himself, or needed reassurance that his conclusion was only logical. I did not have to wait long to find out the rest of his reasoning, either.  
  
"He left a note saying he had things to do, and wouldn't be back for a while. I can't name it, but I have a feeling something is wrong."  
  
He paused a moment, and this drew my eyes back, but he continued before I said anything.  
  
"We had plans, you know..."  
  
I nodded. What more could I do. I didn't want to worry him by disclosing that I had felt a little off myself. Besides, there were a few unanswered questions. "Did he say where he was going?"  
  
Kurama was the one to shake his head this time, lifting his eyes to me once again, "No, I only found a letter from him."  
  
Following this, Kurama told me about the last few days spent with Hiei. About getting kicked out of the store, and a few other things.  
  
"What if Hiei is just trying to surprise you with something special for your night alone?" I had to ask it, if only to ease Kurama's heart a bit. But that was promptly discouraged with Kurama's response that he had been told Hiei was getting him a big fat nothing. Loveable guy, really. A few more moments were spent, ideas tossed up, only to sail away on the breeze it felt. Nothing seemed to fit this sudden disappearance. It wasn't like Hiei... of course it wasn't totally unlike him either. The only thing the two of us seemed to find remotely likely was the fact that conflicts in the Makai had drawn his attention. But even that was a bit farfetched. He hadn't had anything to tend to immediately within the Makai for quite some time.  
  
Kurama stayed for a while longer, but he seemed disheartened that a resolution had not been reached. He bade his goodbyes, and left, wearing an expression that I had not really witnessed on Kurama's face. He was very worried about the little fire demon.  
  
With a loud sigh, I tossed myself back upon the bed, puzzled, and even a bit worried myself. What could have caused Hiei to do such a thing to Kurama... I supposed the only answer was to find him, and ask myself. So, I stood, and crossed out of the room, answering the barrage of 'Where are you going? When will you be back? Yusuke answer me!' with a hasty 'Eventually'.  
  
As the sun fell, I sighed again. I was standing, nearly alone, on a street, the entire day since I left my house, really in vain. There had been no sign of Hiei anywhere. I started, after leaving my house, passed by Kurama's place, the only thing out of the ordinary, was the open window towards the back of the house, spotting a flash of red hair through the fluttering of the curtains.  
  
I kept walking.  
  
With a shake of my head, I looked up, slightly surprised that my wanderings had led me to the store that Kurama had told me about. I looked down and kicked at the curb. I was restless as ever, and for the life of me couldn't figure out why.  
  
Frustrated, I returned to my house, passing my mother with a grunt, and threw open the door to my room. Once again I was mildly shocked, as I found Keiko laying on my bed, asleep. Shutting the door a little quieter, I took the chair that she had been sitting in hours before, looking upon her. Her hair was sleep rumpled, as well as her fuku, and once again the white beneath taunted me from afar. Without the distraction of a book making a rough landing on my face, my gaze held fast there. A few moments later I was in bed with her, a pleased smile on her face as she was roused.  
  
----  
  
The next morning, I was awake before the sun, sitting bare-chested once more in the chair present. Kieko was once again asleep, the sheets pulled to cover her naked form. Biting softly upon my lip, I tried to force bitter thoughts from my mind.  
  
The night wasn't a good one, plagued by images of Hiei, failing in some sort of battle. A battle that did not leave him victorious. Surely I was overreacting to the conversation that Kurama and I had... was it only yesterday?  
  
It had been.  
  
Frowning, I rose, grabbed the closest thing that resembled a shirt, and left my house once again, while Keiko and my mother still slept. I made my way to Kurama's house, and spoke with his mother for a few minutes. She was worried about him too.  
  
Sneaking towards his room, so as not to disturb him should he still be asleep, I cracked the door to find him near the window. I thought he was awake at first, but the slow, rhythmic breathing led me to a different conclusion. Softly shutting the door once more, I returned to his mother's side, and told her goodbye, saying that Kurama was still sleeping, leaving out the part of his choice of places to do so.  
  
Having nowhere to really go, and nothing really to look for, save for one misplaced fire daemon, I aimlessly wandered the town, asking random people if they had seen anything. Disheartened, I made my way back to the store Kurama had mentioned. Venturing in, I made no point in browsing, and went straight to the clerk behind the counter. I was greeted warmly, but soon after I asked her about Hiei with a fine description, I was promptly asked to leave. Stupid girl.  
  
The day wore on, with no results, and I ventured home once more. I passed my mother without a word, and went straight for my own room. Within, I found Keiko no longer there, but a note was lying on the pillow, the soft breeze from the half open window ruffling the paper slightly. Snatching it up with one hand, I read it, shrugged, and tossed it to the floor, myself falling to the perfectly made bed. Stupid Keiko.  
  
With my face buried within the pillow, my thoughts focused on the note that Hiei had left. What was so important that he had to up and leave, and be so vague about it. Stupid Hiei.  
  
----  
  
I slept in a dull stupor that night, remembering nothing of my dreams, if I had any at all. When I awoke, I was still in my clothes, the window still half open, the bed no longer a picture of perfection. With a grunt, I pushed myself to a sitting position, my legs swung haphazardly off the bedside. Staring unfocused at the floor, I wasn't aware of my mother calling my name, until she poked her head within the room, looking mildly upset. Or perhaps she had gotten up earlier than I, and had already started drinking. Either or, I paid her only half a mind, answering he question with a reasonable answer, and her words forgotten as soon as her face was out of sight.  
  
Once again, I went out that day. I ran into Keiko during the course, and after some conversation, I let her tag along. We walked all over the place, stopping here and there when Keiko saw something she liked. Window- shopping, she called it. I rolled my eyes, and walked farther along each time she stopped, not heeding her callings about being left behind.  
  
We went to Kurama's house again, but his mother told us he wasn't feeling well. She had taken a cold cloth to him the previous night, among other things. She was worried. And Kurama was ill. This was not looking good. For their sake, I told them I had remembered something suddenly I had forgotten my mother had asked me to get for her, and left a moment later.  
  
This was not looking good, and I had to find Hiei. I didn't know why, I just had to. From far off, I thought I heard his voice, that taunting clear tone that he used so often. Hurrying along towards it, I hoped I would find the owner quickly.  
  
----  
  
I didn't sleep that night. Hiei's voice kept haunting my thoughts, though, there were no words attached to the murmur in my head. It was like he was talking to me from behind a thick wall, and all that could be made out were the tones of his voice as the words fluctuated. I hoped Kurama wasn't "hearing" the same thing. It was driving ME nuts, and he was already not so good.  
  
After an hour last night, I returned to his house, making excuses for not coming back with what I had left to purchase. I shrugged it off, and walked Kieko home, explaining little of why I had left. I returned home shortly after, and was awake to see the rise of the sun. Four days had passed since Kurama first came to me, and I had not seen him in those four days. I made it a point to see him today. I had to talk to him again, though I didn't exactly know why.  
  
I rose, showered, and found some clothes. I was just getting ready to head out, I doubted myself, but only for a moment.  
  
Twenty minutes later, I was in Kurama's house again, fidgeting slightly as I sat talking with his mother. I had peeked in to see him and he had groaned.  
  
"Kurama?" I called softly, but he only rolled over and appeared to be sleeping still, so I left him, waiting until he would wake up.  
  
The conversation with Shiori was strained and tense, but with all that I had not found, and all that she knew, it was not to be unexpected. She had made some tea, and I idly sipped it, staring in turn at a window, and her face, nodding and interjecting where appropriate.  
  
A scream interrupted our talk, and we both made a dash for Kurama's bedroom, Shiori arriving a split second before I did. She reached quickly for the cold cloth by the bed, pressing it firmly to his forehead, and guiding him back down. I watched even more tensely as she told me he had a fever, and reasoned the scream to be delirium. I wasn't so easily persuaded, but I accepted her words. I left her to tend to her son, feeling awkward and unsettled myself, my chest tight and breaths quick.  
  
My brow was soaked with sweat, even though the day was overcast and the wind was cooling to the skin. Those moments spent in Kurama's room were odd, and the feeling of foreboding stayed with me, even as I settled down on my bed, pulling the covers over me, even though the sun had not yet wounds its way past the clouds into the horizon. Something was wrong, Kurama and I both knew it, but what, was yet to be seen.  
  
************  
  
The Present  
  
I returned to my room, and sat staring at the wall, legs folded beneath me on the torn sheets of my bed. The chair was again propped against the door, blocking entry into my room. I didn't want to see anyone, least of all Keiko, but I imagined she had not been by to see me anyway. I looked up at my window, staring out into the cloudless sky. It was the night after Valentine's Day, and I had not moved from this spot since yesterday... since I got back from Kurama's.  
  
Koenma had sent for me two days before Valentine's. The day after I had left Kurama's house. The day after I had left that horrible scream that was so unsettling. Botan had been there, and by her downfallen expression, I knew that something bad had happened, though I didn't let myself believe that it could have been about Hiei...  
  
Yesterday morning, I could bear it no longer, and went to Kurama's once more. I woke him gently, his wild eyes searching my face. I said nothing, and bowed my head, closing my eyes tightly. I struggled to hold back the tears, as I extended what was left of Hiei's sword to Kurama. The blade was broken in half, the silvery glint of the thing muted by the stains of faded crimson.  
  
I opened my eyes as I heard Kurama fall to his knees, and I swallowed the lump in my throat, watching him there. I offered what Koenma had told me, my voice flat and hollow, my hands shaking as they held the battered katana of the fire deamon. I cursed my own self as I watched Kurama. If only I had searched longer, tried harder. Something. Anything. I laid blame upon myself, even though by Koenma's story, there would have been nothing that I could have done, no way that I could have reached him.  
  
Kurama allowed me to keep the blade, claiming he had other things to remind him of Hiei. I only nodded, offering it once more just before I went. It was refused again and I left there after, clutching it tightly in my hands. Now it sat, upon a black satin pillow, on the floor next to my bed. And it was here my hard gaze landed once more.  
  
I stared hard at it, my thoughts ranging through time as far back as when Hiei and I had first met, to now.. to thoughts of Kurama, and his little lost valentine. 


End file.
